(no subject)

[rajmahall.livejournal.com]

Please, Water, Hear My Pleas

Oh please, Water, hear my pleas...
Water dark green water
Don't carry my parents away
Smashing their hollow lives against the rocks
Bashing them again and again
Relentless and merciless
Until their bones are stripped of flesh
And bob like driftwood on your roaring currents.

And please, Water, while you're not at it...
Don't sweep away my brother
Your mighty flow taking him to be
Never heard from again.

And don't make him suffer
By holding him under for long periods of time,
But not enough to kill him.
Please don't let him resurface occasionally
To taste the sweet air of life
Only to be dragged back into the murky depths.

And Water, when you don't do this
Don't let his ankle hook on a log
So only his eyes clear the surface
While you rush into his nose and throat
Filling his lungs with your dark green liquidness.

Water, hear my pleas...
Don't wash away my family
I could not bear to be the object of sympathy
To have Dillard Rankin say,
"She's the one who lost her family.
I feel so bad for her
I want to hold her
I want to comfort her."
I couldn't stomach the jealous stares
Of Regina Cox as her boyfriend Dillard, the one she
Stole from me, has his arms wrapped tightly around my waist
Planting gentle kisses on my neck.
Comforting me...comforting me...
O Lord, watch out for the wave, Regina...
Please don't die horribly with the last thing you
Ever see is me being kissed by Dillard Rankin.

Please, Water, hear my pleas.


-Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello (excerpted from Wigfield: The Can-Do Town that Just May Not )