Carl Dennis, "The God Who Loves You"

[lunar-endeavor.livejournal.com]

It must be troubling for the god who loves you
To ponder how much happier you'd be today
Had you been granted his powers of understanding.
It must be painful for him to watch you on Friday evenings
Driving home from the office, content with your week—
Three fine houses sold to deserving families—
Knowing as he does exactly what would have happened
Had you gone to your second choice for college.
Knowing the course in art you'd have chosen by chance
To fill the distribution requirement
That would have kindled in you a life-long passion.
A life thirty points above the life you're living
On any scale of satisfaction. And every point
A thorn in the side of the god who loves you.
You don't want that, a large-souled man like you
Who tries to withhold from your wife the day's disappointments
So she can save her empathy for the children.
And would you want this god to compare your wife
With the woman you were destined to meet on the other campus?
It hurts you to think of him ranking the conversation
You'd have enjoyed over there higher in insight
Than the conversation you're used to.
And think how this loving god would feel
Knowing that the man next in line for your wife
Would have pleased her more than you ever have
Even on your best days, when you've really tried.
Can you sleep at night believing a god like that
Is pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternatives
You're spared by ignorance? The difference between what is
And what could have been will remain alive for him
Even after you cease existing, after you catch a chill
Running out in the snow for the morning paper,
Losing eleven years that the god who loves you
Will feel compelled to imagine scene by scene
Unless you come to the rescue by imagining him
No wiser than you are, no god at all, only a friend
No closer than the actual friend you made at college,
The one you haven't written in weeks. Why not sit down
Tonight and collect your thoughts.

How should you say it's going, the life you've chosen?

Comments

[enough-rope.livejournal.com]

thats wonderful.. i really liked it

[maymorning.livejournal.com]

I love all the poems I read in this community, but this one has touched me the most. Thank you! I love it. I shall copy it down and read it again and again.