English, by Richard Keogh

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

English

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead--it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat.
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.)
A moth is not a moth in mother;
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear;
And then there's dose and rose and lose--
Just look them up--and goose and choose;
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.

A dreadful language? Why man alive,
I learned to talk it when I was five;
And yet to write it, the more I try,
I haven't learned it at fifty-five.

~ Richard Keogh

Comments

[amorphic.livejournal.com]

This made me laugh, thank you!

[tuppeny.livejournal.com]

What a fun poem!

[scribbled-mess.livejournal.com]

the english language is so irregular! good poem.

[singer-shaper.livejournal.com]

This is hilarious. Thanks!

[med_cat]

Oldie but goodie! A pleasure to have seen it again--thanks!

[med_cat]

more poems of a similar sort--thought you might like:

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/funnyeng.htm

P.S. and the top one here is another oldie but goodie:

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/funnyeng.htm