I Eat Poetry

 
Romantic entanglements often occur
In a pub or a railway station,
But being a writer I tend to prefer
A suitably bookish location.
 
I've never liked nightclubs, nor am I the sort
To go for a snog in the loos.
By far the most interesting place to cavort
Is the ground floor of Sherratt & Hughes.
 
I've seen a few customers looking dismayed,
Too British to voice their objection.
But how can I help it? I like to get laid
Just in front of the poetry section.
 
Most people prefer a luxurious setting -
A Mediterranean cruise,
But to my mind, the place most conducive to petting
Is the ground floor of Sherratt & Hughes.
 
All it takes is one glimpse of a gold-lettered spine
On those lovingly organised shelves
And a human encounter seems almost devine -
Not just sex, but a merging of selves.
 
I have never been someone who strictly adheres
To what's proper - I do as I choose.
(I go down very well with the male cashiers
On the ground floor of Sherratt & Hughes.)