greatpoetry | Entries tagged with nicole blackman

exceptindreams.livejournal.com

"Daughter"
Nicole Blackman

One day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girl
and when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sure
she never stops.

I will kiss her before I lay her down
and will tell her a story so she knows
how it is and how it must be for her to survive.

I'll tell her about the power of water
the seduction of paper
the promise of gasoline
and the hope of blood.

I'll teach her to shave her eyebrows and
mark her skin.

I'll teach her that her body is
her greatest work of art.

I'll tell her to light things on fire
and keep them burning.

I'll teach her that the fire will not consume her,
that she must take it and use it.

I'll tell her to be tri-sexual, to try anything
to sleep with, fight with, pray with anyone,
just as long as she feels something.

I'll help her do her best work when it rains.
I'll tell her to reinvent herself every 28 days.
I'll teach her to develop all her selves,
the courageous ones,
the smart ones,
the dreaming ones
the fast ones.

I'll teach her that she has an army inside her
that can save her life.

I'll tell her to say Fuck like other people say The
and when people are shocked
to ask them why they so fear a small quartet
of letters.

I'll make sure she always carries a pen
so she can take down the evidence.
If she has no paper, I'll teach her to
write everything down on her tongue
write it on her thighs.

I'll help her to see that she will not find God
or salvation in a dark brick building
built by dead men.

I'll explain to her that it's better to regret the things
she has done than the things she hasn't.

I'll teach her to write her manifestos
on cocktail napkins.
I'll say she should make men lick her enterprise.

I'll teach her to talk hard.
I'll tell her that her skin is the
most beautiful dress she will ever wear.

I'll tell her that people must earn the right
to use her nickname,
that forced intimacy is an ugly thing.

I'll make her understand that she is worth more
with her clothes on.

I'll tell her that when the words finally flow too fast
and she has no use for a pen
that she must quit her job
run out of the house in her bathrobe,
leaving the door open.
I'll teach her to follow the words.

I'll tell her to stand up
and head for the door
after she makes love.
When he asks her to
stay she'll say
she's got to
go.

I'll tell her that when she first bleeds
when she is a woman,
to go up to the roof at midnight,
reach her hands up to the sky and scream.

I'll teach her to be whole, to be holy,
to be so much that she doesn't even
need me anymore.
I'll tell her to go quickly and never come back.
I will make her stronger than me.

I'll say to her never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

exceptindreams.livejournal.com

"Get Your Hands Off My Brother"
Nicole Blackman

(for Bobby)

Get your hands off my brother
I don't care if his name is Stephen or Daniel
or James or Billy or even if I don't know his name at all.
They are all my brothers and you have no right
no right at all, to attack any one of them.

What is it about love that makes you so scared and angry?
You fear what you don't understand
but how could a gay man earn such a beating?
You think you are mighty because
you are 18, ineloquent and full of rage
standing over a man with blood pouring from his nose.
Where in the world did you get the idea
that murdering a man will make your life any better?

These men are all my brothers because
they were the ones who came
to pick me up from a phone booth
after I got thrown out of a car.

They rubbed my shoulders in taxis when I was tired
and bought me a drink when I didn't have the money.
They went with me to Audrey Hepburn films
and taught me the meaning of words like 'fierce' and 'worthy.'
They made me understand that life should be about
things that are wonderful, things that are beautiful.

These are the men with whom I have the most in common
and they taught me more than Cosmo ever did.

They drank cup after cup of tea with me
when I was unraveling and reeling from being dumped for no reason.

They taught me that love is love
and who should be the one to judge?

We used to say that if I was a gay man
or they were straight
that we would be lovers.
But in many ways,
they have been more loving to me
than the men I loved.

( When my courage failed )

anaisf.livejournal.com

When I am gone your pillows will smell like me.

When I am gone the ice cubes in your glass and
the sway of your curtains will sound like me.

When I am gone your toothbrush and milk carton will taste like me.

When I am gone everyone who passes by your window
and everyone on your television will look like me.

When I am gone the curve of your telephone,
the blade of your razor,
and the fur of your cat will feel like me.

When I am gone you will tell your landlady
that you're leaving at the end of the month.

You will swear your apartment is haunted.

bloodrebel333.livejournal.com

Nothing like listening to a poet reading her own work.

Nicole Blackman – In The Movie Now

There is no glory in trying to make love to men who only know how to fuck. Man after man after man after man. Raised on porn. Out all day, while he's been watching two-dollar videos, now piles by the VCR. Out all day, at work, at class, at the gym, while he's been making plans.

( You don't fight, he takes it from you, he takes it from you, he takes it from you now it isn't yours, how could it be, isn't yours anymore, never will be again. One eye open focusing on a window years of this and you don't even say anything anymore. This is how it is, how it will always be. You're in the movie now. It doesn't hurt anymore. You shut down, examining fibres in the pillowcase, counting them until he's finished. Seventy-seven, seventy-eight, seventy-nine he says look at me, look at me it's no good unless you look at me you look right through him look at your bookshelf your grandmother's patio your list of things to do this weekend the basal leaves drying by the window. )

Current Music: The Cardigans - And Then You Kissed Me

pjcop.livejournal.com

WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
(and other holidays where we speak of dead men)
Nicole Blackman

I want to know how it will end.
I want to be sure of what it will cost.
I want to strangle the stars for all they promised me.
I want you to call me on your drug phone.
I want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later.
I want to be there when you learn the cost of desire.
I want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win.
I want the name of the ruiner.
I want matches in case I have to suddenly burn.
I want you to know that being kind is overrated.
I want to measure how much torture we can stand.
I want to know where your altruism went.
I want to watch you lose control.
I want to watch you lose.
I want to know exactly what it's going to take.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: Jolly
Current Location: Bklyn

fallingxslowly.livejournal.com

Someone pasted an Anorexia poem recently, and it reminded me of this. It's not in the archives, so I figured I'd share.

I eat only sleep and air
and everyone thinks i'm dumb
But i'm smart because i've figured it out
I am slimmer than you are
And I am burning my skin off little by little
until I reach bone and self
until i get to where I am essential
until I get to where I am
Food doesnt even tempt me anymore
Because I am so full of energy and sense
I can even pass by water now
Because I am living off the parts of me that I don't need anymore
I could feel the slow drips of pain before
swirling inside where my lungs should have been
now i'm clean inside
I threw out hundreds of things that I didn't need anymore
All my dresses and bras
Stupid things like jeans and socks
Most days I float thru the house naked so I can see myself in the mirrors
I have hundreds of them everywhere
And they talk back to me all the time
They keep me true and pure
They make sure I'm still here
When I knew what I had to do
I took all my notebooks, all my manuscripts
And ate them page by page so I could take my words with me
I can finally control my life and even death
And I will die slowly like steam escaping from a pipe
This is my greatest performance
and all of the actresses who won my parts will say how wonderful
to let yourself go that mad
how wonderful to go on this kind of journey
and not care if you come back to tell the story
I scratch words on the walls now so people will visit this museum
and know how someone like me ends up like this
(they'll say there is art in here somewhere)
Everything that comes out of me is sacred
every fingernail, every eyelash, every hair
starvation is sacred and i scratch my bones against the windows at night
I light candles and feel myself evaporate
this body is a little church, a little temple
You can't see me now because i've gone inside
My family doesnt call anymore
My friends don't call anymore
You can't hurt me anymore. They can't hurt me anymore
Only I can
And that's okay
I don't need them anymore. I can live off me
I speak to me. i dance with me
I eat me
When they find me, I'll have a little smile on my face
And they'll wrap me in a white cloth and lay me in the ground
and say they don't understand
but I do. I don't hurt anymore
I'm not lonely anymore. I'm not sad I'm not pretty anymore
I made it through
I feel so holy and clean when i stretch out on the floor and sing
sometimes god comes in for a minute and says i'm doing fine
I'm almost there
Everyday I get a little closer to vanishing
Some days I can't stand up because the room moves under my feet
and i smile because I'm almost there, I'm almost an angel
One day when I am thin enough I'll go outside fluttering my hands so I can fly
And I will be so slight
That I will pass through all of you silently like wind

-Nicole Blackman

iamkatia.livejournal.com

Daughter
by Nicole Blackman

One day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girl
and when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sure
she never stops.

I will kiss her before I lay her down
and will tell her a story so she knows
how it is and how it must be for her to survive.

I'll tell her about the power of water
the seduction of paper
the promise of gasoline
and the hope of blood.

I'll teach her to shave her eyebrows and
mark her skin.

I'll teach her that her body is
her greatest work of art.

I'll tell her to light things on fire
and keep them burning.

I'll teach her that the fire will not consume her,
that she must take it and use it.

I'll tell her to be tri-sexual, to try anything
to sleep with, fight with, pray with anyone,
just as long as she feels something.

I'll help her do her best work when it rains.
I'll tell her to reinvent herself every 28 days.
I'll teach her to develop all her selves,
the courageous ones,
the smart ones,
the dreaming ones
the fast ones.

I'll teach her that she has an army inside her
that can save her life.

I'll tell her to say Fuck like other people say The
and when people are shocked
to ask them why they so fear a small quartet
of letters.

I'll make sure she always carries a pen
so she can take down the evidence.
If she has no paper, I'll teach her to
write everything down on her tongue
write it on her thighs.

I'll help her to see that she will not find God
or salvation in a dark brick building
built by dead men.

I'll explain to her that it's better to regret the things
she has done than the things she hasn't.

I'll teach her to write her manifestos
on cocktail napkins.
I'll say she should make men lick her enterprise.

I'll teach her to talk hard.
I'll tell her that her skin is the
most beautiful dress she will ever wear.

I'll tell her that people must earn the right
to use her nickname,
that forced intimacy is san ugly thing.

I'll make her understand that she is worth more
with her clothes on.

I'll tell her that when the words finally flow too fast
and she has no use for a pen
that she must quit her job
run out of the house in her bathrobe,
leaving the door open.
I'll teach her to follow the words.

I'll tell her to stand up
and head for the door
after she makes love.
When he asks her to
stay she'll say
she's got to
go.

I'll tell her that when she first bleeds
when she is a woman,
to go up to the roof at midnight,
reach her hands up to the sky and scream.

I'll teach her to be whole, to be holy,
to be so much that she doesn't even
need me anymore.
I'll tell her to go quickly and never come back.
I will make her stronger than me.

I'll say to her never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

iamkatia.livejournal.com

in four minutes you will be gone and i must tell you why. when
a star crashes, the angels are electrified. your life changes
in ways you can't imagine. When your dreams are perfect, they
run like machines and leave you dizzy. when you first discover
you're dying, everyone seems to be saying goodbye. when your
dreams are perfect, they run like machines. you must change your
life. you are never ready. you must change your life. you are
never ready. there are people you have to leave behind, they
just dirty up your mouth they don't value your treasure. you
fall down, you kiss up, you love them, it's not enough. they're
nothing special and you're such a gift. if you had no magic here
you'd be just like everyone else. imagine the tragedy. you must
change your life. you are never ready. you must change your life.
you are never ready. love is like crying like writing like dying
you've got to do it alone. i know it's tragic to be tender i
know it's dangerous to be kind i know it's vicious to care.
listen to me, i know what's going to happen to you. you don't
need a window, you need a fire escape, you'll need a skylight
to get to where you're going. i can't tell you where. and you
dream that you are hollow and you dream that you are whole
reconstruct what you remember and it comes out in pieces. you
must change your life. you are never ready. you must change your
life. you are never ready. those below you can't hold you up
everyone is gone gone gone everyone is gone gone gone. learn
to swim alone learn to fly. you must change your life. you are
never ready. you must change your life. you are never ready.
cast them off like long rope and learn to swim the dark water
alone. look up to the stars stars stars and know that this is
your sky now. lift your arms and go step forward in nureyev
leap blink fast and whirr over streets hover over trees speed
past taxis don't even bother to wave at the children who watch
you awestruck brushing past skyscrapers and looking up up slip
off the long skirt that slows you down and don't look back to
watch it billow to earth tell the cool jets and superman that
you're passing them feel your hair stream back wind blinding
you forcing your dry mouth open no one can touch you now get
out of this fucking world as fast as you can.

[nicole blackman]